Friday, June 11, 2010


In the kitchen around 2:00 a.m., I thought:

Whether a person is afraid of commitment, or believes that once they commit to something they can never, ever change their mind even slightly, they are being driven by the same fear. 

A person fears commitment because they know, if only subconsciously, the reality of change. Therefore, a commitment feels like a trap, an anchor, a final sentence: change will come and they won't be able to escape. What this person does not understand is the nature of change and the possibility of what change can be. They feel caged by something that exists only in their mind. How one handles change is what change can be.

A person fears changing their mind because they believe it compromises their credibility or their time, perhaps. So people stick with education, work, other people, etc. that they no longer jive with. Why? "Well, because I committed to it." So you did. And so what. Now your internal compass shifts, and you refuse to follow it? To be more specific, your internal compass shifts a degree, you overreact, and tip over one edge or the other instead of simply rebalancing. 

Both people are afraid of being something other than linear, one-dimensional, predictable. Both fear the same thing: change. Change equals the unknown. The unknown represents the big change, the big fear: death. But you came out of your mother changing. Dying. You are shedding skin, losing hair, and exhaling right now. You are constantly expiring. So what's unknown? 

Evolution is constant; change comes inexorably. If you commit to being aware of your internal state, of what you truly feel and who you truly are at any moment, you won't go wrong. Throw yourself completely into life without fearing the shifts that inevitably come - ride them and don't resist. 

It's simple. That's why we can't do it. 

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