Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Let Them Be That Way

~ Thanks to L. for igniting this stream. ;) ~

Symptoms like running your mouth when you have nothing to really say, the requirement for a "social" personality on top of your true personality, etc. stem from peoples' inherent fear of silence. People hate silence because it leaves them alone with their mind, and people, in general, have grown very far apart from their essential selves; their mind, their thoughts, their emotions all become these monstrous things they can't face. Silence mimics death a little, too, and most people are afraid of death - in both the literal and abstract sense. People fear anything the can't predict and control.

Society and its monochrome henchmen (the people who are very skilled at fitting into a tiny box and enjoy being monochrome) created what we refer to as "the norm", an amalgamation of a trillion things including the acceptableness of ass-kissing, trading one's personality for a nice grey blanket, knowing exactly what lines to feed out and actions to take in order to stay blended inside the herd, doing anything to ensure keeping one's claws tight in one's job, fancy house, awesome car, the spouse one does not love but who provides some twisted leverage on life...all that and anything else you can think of, are little refusals to accept the mortal and animal nature of being a human. Refusal to die.

The person who maintains a personality, maintains the ability to think, speaks when it means something, knows and accepts both sides of nature, sees both sides of nature in herself, looks herself in the face on a regular basis, refuses to freeze life within rules and dogma is dangerous, in a way. This person threatens the safety of the monochrome cover; this person keeps poking holes in the grey blanket, letting the sun and the rain in, damn it. The scared people are forced then to remember what they really are - and secretly, they would love to be free to be what they really are. But that isn't always comfortable, and as long as one retains an attachment to fixed, linear, predictable bullshit, enjoying life without fear isn't possible.

Society as it is today and the people it suckles will make this hard, but remember that you are not obligated, required, or supposed to do ANYTHING but be exactly you and nothing else. The rest of the world can go to the blazes. It will suck, don't get me wrong. I used to get furious and frustrated and hurt by people ostricizing me for not sliding neatly under their little cookie cutter. But eventually I realized that I am not at fault; nothing I do or don't do will change others if they don't WANT to change. It seriously isn't my problem, or yours. Live your life without regard for what people will do or think in response. You are not the weird one.

It's like the now-cliche quote: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." It is true, despite being overused. Keep that in the back of your brain, and you'll start to develop a sense of humor about all the bullshit. It becomes your little secret, your antidote. And it's not even special or extraordinary - it's just realizing that the bullshit only holds as much sway over you as you allow. I used to bitch a lot about how manipulative people and society can be, how gross they are for taking advantage of people like myself...that got tiresome after a bit, and unnecessary, when I became slightly more honest with myself and found that if it was affecting me, I was, to some degree, allowing it.

Life is just about getting really good at playing this game of recognizing bullshit for what it is and knowing that it's basically just a silly speck of dust. You shake it off. You start to feel like, "What bullshit?" You laugh at it. Sometimes you cry about it, too, but you always come back to knowing it's just a joke, just a stupid dream.

If people are bothered by you behaving like a real human being...good for them. They are stuck in nonsense. Let them be that way.

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